A memoir your book club will want to talk about
This Is Not My Life is a memoir by Laura Burkett about two sisters, one family, and the questions that follow a sudden loss. It is raw, unflinching, and darkly humorous, with plenty for a group to discuss: family secrets, silence, loyalty, and starting over. Below you will find discussion questions, a reading plan, and a free printable guide.
It fits any schedule
244 pages in print and 217 on Kindle. Most groups finish it in a month.
Everyone can read it
Paperback, hardcover, and Kindle. Kindle Unlimited members read it at no extra cost.
It gives a group plenty to discuss
Sisterhood, family silence, grief and suspicion, humor in hard times, and starting over.
Readers want to talk about it
Reviewers call it honest, emotional, and hard to put down, and several say it would be great for a book club.
Free printable book club guide
The 26-page guide includes reading plans for one, two, three, or five meetings, a chapter companion with heads-ups, spoiler-free and spoiler discussion questions, six activities, quote cards, and host tips.
Ten spoiler-free discussion questions
These work before, during, or after reading, so members can use them whether they have finished the book or are just getting started.
- Laura admits her sister would be “making additions, omissions, or corrections” if she were here to read this. How does that admission affect how much you trust Laura as a narrator?
- Laura says her sister lived in the land of the wants while she lived in the land of the shoulds. Which land do you live in, and what did each choice cost and give?
- From age twelve, Laura is “the sister of the girl that…” What labels follow people in a small town, and how much of who we become is a reaction to them?
- Laura calls inappropriate humor her “hiding place.” Did the humor help you stay with the hardest parts of this story, or did it complicate how you felt?
- When Laura voices her suspicions, some friends tell her to “let this go.” What do we owe someone who is grieving and asking questions no one wants to hear?
- A chapter title says that true friends “come out in their slippers.” Who showed up for Laura, who did not, and who has shown up in their slippers for you?
- Laura’s father taught her “Swim or die.” Which lessons from your own parents did you only recognize years later, as a gift, a wound, or both?
- Laura’s songs sit in a piano bench for years until her sister pushes her to open it. What dream have you put away, and who in your life pushes you to take it out?
- Laura says grief can push us to “try to self-destruct” in more than one way. Which ways did you recognize in the book, and which in your own life?
- “This is not my life” returns throughout the book. What do you think it means to Laura at the start, and what does it mean to you by the end?
How to plan your meeting
Most groups finish a 244-page memoir in about a month. If you want to split it, here are three easy plans. Chapter titles are listed in the guide, since page numbers vary by edition.
- One meeting. Read the whole book and use any four to six questions.
- Two meetings. Read through the chapter called “Grand Theft Rabbit” for the first meeting, then the rest of the book for the second.
- Three meetings. Read through “It's Like I'm Brain Dead” for the first meeting, through “Paperwork” for the second, and the final two chapters for the third.
To open the conversation, ask each member for one word that describes how the book left them feeling.
Before you meet: a content note
The memoir deals with the sudden death of the author's sister and a friend, a suspicious death and a police investigation that ended without answers, an abusive marriage, mental illness, suicide (a teenage threat and a brief moment of suicidal thinking), and unwanted physical advances. It is also darkly funny. Consider sharing this with your group ahead of time, so members can choose how to read.
Book club questions, answered
Is This Is Not My Life a good book club pick?
Yes. It is a short, emotional memoir that readers describe as honest and hard to put down, with themes like sisterhood, silence, grief, and starting over that spark real conversation.
How long is the book?
The paperback and hardcover are 244 pages, and the Kindle edition is 217 pages. Most groups finish it in a month.
Are the discussion questions spoiler-free?
Yes. All ten questions on this page are spoiler-free, so members can use them before or after finishing the book.
Can everyone in my group read it for free?
Kindle Unlimited members can read the Kindle edition at no extra cost. Everyone else can buy the paperback, hardcover, or Kindle edition.
Is there a content note for my group?
Yes. The memoir deals with the sudden death of the author's sister and a friend, a suspicious death and a police investigation that ended without answers, an abusive marriage, mental illness, suicide (a teenage threat and a brief moment of suicidal thinking), and unwanted physical advances. It is also darkly funny. It helps to mention that to your group ahead of time.
Is there a printable discussion guide?
Yes. There is a free 26-page guide with reading plans for one to five meetings, a chapter companion, spoiler-free and spoiler questions, activities, and quote cards. You can download it from this page.
Get copies for your group
Paperback, hardcover, or Kindle. Members with Kindle Unlimited can read the Kindle edition at no extra cost.
More: What readers say · About Laura Burkett · Frequently asked questions